Badly wanting what I can't have.

I need shoes, but none of these are available in my size and preferred color. (sigh) Not to mention I wish they were all just $50 each...

Bebe Liza in Leopard Patent

Bebe Scarlett Printed Scarf Sandal

Charles David Encounter in Red

Jessica Simpson Taneala in Chili or Zebra

Red shoe craves:

Bebe Liza Platform pump


$149 at bebe.com

Jessica Simpson Taneala




$89.99 at heels.com

Bebe Bailey


$119 at bebe.com

Happy New Year!

I know, I'm late. Even for Chinese New Year.

Been mulling over firing up this old thing again. Also considering dusting off my Tagalog and creating another mirror blog, in the mother tongue this time, with help from Google Translate. They simplify my process, I turn in my edits to improve their translation database, and everyone wins.

I'm 30 now. And I Twitter now. Other than that, nothing new to report, really.

~*~*~*

Would it be tacky to wear these shoes for July 4th? I wanted them for Obama's Inauguration, but thought of it too late.


Pleaser Electra

$53.97 at Summit Fashions, from $90.99

The search for red tartan plaid heels

On Black Friday I glimpsed pointy shoes and bright red plaid, but before I could inquire as to their provenance they vanished in the throng of deal-hungry shoppers. I'm not sure, but they might have been these:



Sugar Fergie Flat
$25.30(53% off - was $54.00) at 6pm.com

And so it is that in the spirit of the Christmas season I find myself looking for red tartan plaid high-heeled shoes that speak to me.

These are my ideal plaid shoe, but I can't find them anywhere:

Sam Edelman Lady Red Plaid Pump with Bow
$34.98 before it was out of stock at SmartBargains.com

~*~*~*


And so I'm stuck with fetish footwear like:







Pleaser red plaid mary jane
$34.99 from $50.74
You Save: $15.75 (31%)
From seller Costume Alibi via Amazon.com

or, God forbid, these numbers




Lucious red plaid and lucite 6" sandals
$53 from $82.15 (35% off)
Pinupshoes.com

~*~*~*

Even though the rugged materials are an incongruous combination with that height of heel, I do rather like the look of these:




KORS MICHAEL KORS Women's Stream
$295.00 With Free Shipping
Shoes.com

I wonder then if I shouldn't throw all regard for style to the winds and get these:




Sugar Women's Rockband Grande
$90.00 With Free Shipping
Shoes.com

Surprisingly, today was a good workout day. I left the gym refreshed and invigorated, a post-workout feeling I haven't felt in a while. It was my first day back in a week and a half. Since then I've helped out at another store; looked up a friend's concert vid on Youtube; made a Chicagoan(?)-approved Italian beef sandwich, for the first time ever; seen "The Dark Knight"; been offered a travel/service job at $19-an-hour; and been hit on by a strange customer who, upon learning I'm married, replied "Well then, I won't waste any more of your time." and spent the next half-hour helping the brunette Nabisco vendor stock cookies.

Krispy Kreme is making grass flip-flops. I don't know why. I think dSquared's lightning-bolt stilettos are wicked sexy. I'm about the infuse some red into my hair, with the help of L'Oreal Color Pulse in, um, Red Pulse.



Shoe links snagged from Shoewawa.

Post-independence day summation

The other party paid the $1100 in repairs. I made picadillo this week, for the first time in at least a year. We didn't do anything for July 4th besides bathe Cocoa. I want shoes. And a Blackberry Pearl and red hair and maybe green eyes, but only if they're a watery emerald green. But back to the shoes:

~*~*~*
Fendi satin bow-front pumps
$655 at Neiman Marcus



~*~*~*
Jimmy Choo Metallic T-Strap Heel
$595 at Bergdorf's





Wicked. Fierce.

~*~*~*

Ralph Lauren Collection Satin Slides
$198.03 from $425 at Saks

Happy Valentine's Day!

I wore my red satin Nicole Millers today, in celebration of the holiday. Here are other red high heels you could have been strutting around in today:

Guess? Arabella
$40 from $79.99



~*~*~*

Jessica Simpson Justine
$88.95 at Nordstrom
























~*~*~*

Vince Camuto Lottie

$119.95 at Nordstrom

~*~*~*

Linea Paolo Babe

~*~*~*

The Highest Heel Hottie

$54.95 at Zappos

Payless Wishlist 020508

One thing I don't do often enough is visit the Payless website. The array of designers and reasonable prices are the attraction, and the quick turnover of styles assures you that everyone and their dog won't be sporting your cute and affordable new kicks.

Abaeté for Payless Bayley d'Orsay Pump

$35 originally, now just $15 on sale.


~*~*~

Abaete for Payless Harlow Pump, $30


~*~*~*

Abaeté for Payless Kaye Pleated Boot
$48 originally, on sale for $24.


~*~*~*

Lindy Patent Peep-Toe Pump
$19.99 originally, on sale for $15.99


~*~*~*

Love Peep-Toe, $39.99


~*~*~*

Patricia Field Sushi Platform Boot
$25 from $55


~*~*~*

Patricia Field for Payless Tempura Platform Sandal
$18 from $40

Currently...

Still depressed.

Watching: Jeff Dunham's Arguing With Myself and Spark of Insanity; Ugly Betty.

Listening to: Sara Bareilles, Josef, Bryan Adams, plus the usual: Nickelback, Daughtry, Matchbox Twenty.

Excited about: (or, as much as you can be when the overriding feeling is still detached, depressed, hopeless)
Elizabeth: The Golden Age; Exile on Mainstream; the next Ugly Betty disk from Netflix.

Wanting:













a Matchbox Twenty USB wristband of their album, even though I don't need it;















a Rob Thomas tee, which I may just get away with wearing at work;

This house, even though it's been ebby.com forever and the price keeps going up;

A limited edition Lagerfeld Steinway grand

~*~*~*

Been asked what's wrong, why I'm not "the usual happy Farah". What the fuck. What makes people think I'm happy? What makes them think they know me at all? They think because they see me every day, and I'm singing, that it's all sunshine and good cheer. I'm short with customers and coworkers both. It's all I can do not to cuss anybody out. I really don't want to be anywhere but at home.

135 lbs, a light weight attributable to lost muscle mass. Haven't been back to the gym since weeks before Inventory. My clothes are just as snug and I'm tired and achy all the time.

I made arroz caldo tonight, the first time in a long time. Yesterday it was Manwiches, which it's true are not like my sloppy joes. Not better or worse, just different. And easier.


On a friend's recommendation I got an adorable iFlops Monkey to replace my speakers at work. I haven't decided on a name yet.













I want new shoes, red ones. None have really grabbed me yet, though. I don't know if I want to dress up for Halloween this year.

The weekly mishmash/rehash:

Still depressed. Strolling down the aisles looking for God-knows-what and not finding it, of course.

Saw "Transformers" today. Started crying when Bumblebee was being taken away. I look for things like that, little ways of bleeding myself emotionally just to feel the sting, just to know I can still feel, that I must still be alive.

Nothing matters. That's a really bad thing, I know.

Just came from the dentist, where I got my teeth whitened slightly. I've requested the baking soda sandblasting-type treatment as an alternative to regular polishing. Workouts have been alright: I've upped the weights again without any injury or strain on workout day, but these past couple of days my joints do give the odd, occasional twinge.

Currently listening to Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day". Am particularly liking "Wildflower", "Last Cigarette", "Dirty Little Secret" and the duet with Jennifer Nettles.

Shoewawa's put an eBay watch on these gorgeous Christian Louboutins:



I want.

lopsided

I've been depressing myself listening to too many better singers, wondering what I was thinking, why on earth I ever thought I stood a chance of going pro. Noticing too that I have far too many bad vocal habits: pizza, chips, spicy foods, cereal and milk, shrieking in surprise and laughing too loud, grunting and gasping during strenuous activity such as workouts, straining to reach notes, continuing to use my voice when I've gone hoarse...

Marc (or is it Mark?), one of the Remodel Supervisors, is Filipino and from California, from whence all things Flipside are more easily procured. He loaned me over a dozen OPM CDs for the weekend, of which only two did not come with track info. I hate Sarah Geronimo for being 18 and so good: she's like a mix of Regine Velasquez and Celine Dion. She's guilty of being breathy and shrieky depending on the song, but mostly I think her biggest problem is that she is such a copycat singer. Then again, she's only eighteen, and has her entire future ahead of her, while here I am ten years older though not that much wiser.

I've been missing my Define workout classes at the gym, and am actually better for it. It's always hard to gauge what level equipment (dumbbells, bands, and bodybars) I need to use, because the trainers change up the routines each time. This past week I did my own training mostly making use of the circuit machines. I can proudly say that I now squat press at 60lbs and donkey calf raise at 100. I still wander into the aerobics room for the abs, though.

I was talking to one of the remodel guys about how I live such a quiet life: work, home, workouts at the gym and dinner with the in-laws. He nodded in understanding and said "I ain't mad at ya."

Excuse me?

I was confused and somewhat indignant, and when someone else came by he told that guy what had been said. As it turns out, it's another way of saying "I understand". WTH. Just say that then.

I was stretching after my Tuesday workout when Patrick called to say he was waiting outside for me, and that he'd promised we'd be at the in-laws' in half and hour. I left the gym floor immediately for the locker room, and mentioned in the car that I felt a little uneven, having only done hamstring stretches on my right leg. Being that Patrick is more than a little obsessive-compulsive, he argued that I could have taken the extra half-minute to do the left leg despite being rushed, and then he hurried us home so I could complete my stretches.

I've been skewed a little depressed, mostly due to poor self-care. This past week I've been forgoing the LAN games in favor of sleep, working out every other day, and eating breakfast, and have been able to steer clear of the pit. For now.

I had a dream last night that we had a male calico cat that was mostly white with some orange. I tried to brush it but not much fur came off.

Lately I've been stuffing my face with Nestle Drumsticks in Cookies and Cream, though what I've been really craving but cannot have are the Mangoes and Cream ones we sell back home, as well as Jollibee's Peach-Mango pies. Dammit. Now I want Jabo spaghetti too.

The remodel is pretty much for over for me. Monday our Market team is coming through to walk off our mods and see the improvements and changes for themselves. I'll have two 7-day old mods, and a couple that are just counting.

The remodel will be over by July 13th. Thank God. I'm tired of people asking me about my shoes. "Do you wear two-inch heels every day?" "How can you work in those?" "Don't your feet hurt?" A couple of the remodel people hope to stay/transfer over when all is said and done. I never really talked to any of them, and I don't think I'll miss anybody except may drummer guy because he's been so encouraging. I'm betting they'll want to keep him, though, because he's sort of the go-to type.

My original dream house is now 5k for expensive, my new one is 100k cheaper, and 2004's much-hyped Zero-Energy Home in Frisco is on the market for only 750k from close to million 3 years ago, which isn't a bad deal esp. considering your utility bills will be next to nothing.

I'm on the lookout for red shoes, because my Rampage D'Orsays are dying.

I really like these:



Jimmy Choo shoes, $750, Jimmy Choo, NYC, 866-524-6687
Via Glamour.com

~*~*~*


Caligarius' Alanda is only $79.99 from $155 at Shoes.com
In 6.0 W and 7.0N

I wonder if I can squeeze into a 7N?

~*~*~*

What I've been looking for but cannot find anywhere is:


Jessica Simpson's LaDonna pump in Scarlet

I know, I know. I should have bought them when I had the chance.

~*~*~*

Red, red, RED!!!


Balenciaga Chad Red, 269 GBP at Daniel Footwear
Via Shoewawa.

~*~*~*

I've kind of also been wanting to get a pretty little Chinese blouse in a solid dark blue or navy, so I can wear it to work. Thing is, I don't know where to get that sort of thing here. The custom tailor next to the Asian mart nearby charges $85 and takes a month to make it, and since I don't really know what I'm ordering and she doesn't speak much English I don't know that I'll be happy with the outcome.

Sweet satin shoes

Via Shoewawa.

I WANT:












Rainbow twirl espadrilles, $138 at Anthropologie
These summery beauties are anything but clunky.

















Manolo Blahnik Lokate, $585 at Bergdorf's

The master shows us how a ballerina flat is done: pretty pink satin in girly pleats.

retail therapy

Twelve hours and a few hundred dollars later, I feel much better. It's amazing what a shopping spree, a blended coffee and Krispy Kremes, pad thai, and a cheesecake torte can do.

My usual DSW is overflowing with Steve Maddens and some brand called "Nyla". I happened upon a pair of Nicole Miller's Natalie in luxe chocolate brown. It's the same style as this eBay listing by seller tapsipoodle:



I also saw a pair of Mootsies Tootsies' aptly-named Party Girl. Though the ones I saw were champagne-colored, I remembered admiring a ruby-red pair once on a customer, who said she got them on sale for $20 at Kohl's. Online they only seem available at Peltz Shoes for $27.99 in a black 8M:



It's too bad this was the only color I could find online; in either red or champagne they are fab.

CNBC.com's Million-dollar portfolio challenge

My portfolio's been doing...alright, these past few days. Last week I'd invested $250k and, with about $750k in cash I was in the top 31% of players. By Monday, having spent all my money, I was down to the top 83rd.

Having offloaded some losers and bought up Zoltec (ZOLT), SanDisk (SDK), and Fremont (FMT), I've risen to the 57th percentile.

~*~*~*

In other news, I'm sort of in a fashion show at the Hyatt Regency this Saturday. And, I want these shoes:


Dune Pancake

Currently 75 British pounds, or 105 euros
Via Shoewawa.

PS- Tomorrow is free iced coffee day at Dunkin'. Enjoy!

irresistibly cute pumps!

Introducing Scottie, by Charles Albert. $34 at Delias.com
Via Shoewawa.

In multicolor plaid,


Monochrome plaid,


And black-and-white:

i went to the mall today

to check out Jessica Simpson's Ladonna pumps. They are fabulous, though you need to go a half-size up. I was going to blog about tortoiseshell pumps, but an IE imp shut the window after I'd already scrapped all my links. Sht.


Anyway. I left Sears with a $20 circle skirt that I love love love. Do stop by JC Penney's, where clearance items are currently 75% off the original prices.

I started Jonathan Safran Foer's "Everything is Illuminated". I feel like I've been conversing with Borat after he'd swallowed a thesaurus.

Hours later,

a caramel white chocolate latte in one hand, a Famous Footwear shopping bag in the other, I felt much better. I caught the chorus of "Bent" as I passed AE Outfitters. Matchbox Twenty is everywhere, it seems. I heard "If You're Gone" at Wal-Mart yesterday.

These are my new babies:













Naturalizer Buttercup. Via Like.com
$5 at Famous Footwear


Ann Marino Bold Knot via UcanHealth.com.
$10 at Famous Footwear

i am so

so
soooooo
sooooooooooooo

freaking bored.
and lonely.

I came clear across the country
to sit at home, in front of the computer
and there is no one to talk to.

Bloody fucking hell.

I was thinking about going to the mall, but it seems there aren't any theaters. There's no Steve Madden in this state either, which is doubly tragic because not only do I have time and access to shops for once, but the brand is also on sale. Anyway. If you've been drooling over platforms -- particularly the designer knockoffs -- check out the deals at SteveMadden.com. Most of the fall styles are now a half to a third of their original prices. I am so over leopard, but the zebra is calling to me...




LIPSTIK2, $39.99 from $109.95

~*~*~*