The new guy

I hired a new personal trainer. His name is Tim, and my confidence in him was bolstered throughout our first session by the number of his coworkers who told me how great he is, how lucky I am to be working with him, and that I'll reach my fitness goals in no time. I've already lost two pounds and one inch of my waistline, and it's only been a week.

My lifestyle changes include:

a tall glass of water first thing in the morning;
a breakfast of old-fashioned oatmeal sweetened with a half-serving of dried berries (blueberries, cranberries or raisins);
a half a peanut butter sandwich with my morning coffee, instead of the usual Texas-size muffin, frosted cinnamon roll or Hostess cupcakes;
low-sodium v8 and a reduced-fat cheese stick for my second snack;
improved posture, to work my abs and back throughout the day;
Watching portion sizes;

I'm supposed to be avoiding carbs after 6 pm, but as long as I see progress I think I'll continue eating a normal dinner.

The weekly mishmash/rehash:

Still depressed. Strolling down the aisles looking for God-knows-what and not finding it, of course.

Saw "Transformers" today. Started crying when Bumblebee was being taken away. I look for things like that, little ways of bleeding myself emotionally just to feel the sting, just to know I can still feel, that I must still be alive.

Nothing matters. That's a really bad thing, I know.

Just came from the dentist, where I got my teeth whitened slightly. I've requested the baking soda sandblasting-type treatment as an alternative to regular polishing. Workouts have been alright: I've upped the weights again without any injury or strain on workout day, but these past couple of days my joints do give the odd, occasional twinge.

Currently listening to Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day". Am particularly liking "Wildflower", "Last Cigarette", "Dirty Little Secret" and the duet with Jennifer Nettles.

Shoewawa's put an eBay watch on these gorgeous Christian Louboutins:



I want.

lopsided

I've been depressing myself listening to too many better singers, wondering what I was thinking, why on earth I ever thought I stood a chance of going pro. Noticing too that I have far too many bad vocal habits: pizza, chips, spicy foods, cereal and milk, shrieking in surprise and laughing too loud, grunting and gasping during strenuous activity such as workouts, straining to reach notes, continuing to use my voice when I've gone hoarse...

Marc (or is it Mark?), one of the Remodel Supervisors, is Filipino and from California, from whence all things Flipside are more easily procured. He loaned me over a dozen OPM CDs for the weekend, of which only two did not come with track info. I hate Sarah Geronimo for being 18 and so good: she's like a mix of Regine Velasquez and Celine Dion. She's guilty of being breathy and shrieky depending on the song, but mostly I think her biggest problem is that she is such a copycat singer. Then again, she's only eighteen, and has her entire future ahead of her, while here I am ten years older though not that much wiser.

I've been missing my Define workout classes at the gym, and am actually better for it. It's always hard to gauge what level equipment (dumbbells, bands, and bodybars) I need to use, because the trainers change up the routines each time. This past week I did my own training mostly making use of the circuit machines. I can proudly say that I now squat press at 60lbs and donkey calf raise at 100. I still wander into the aerobics room for the abs, though.

I was talking to one of the remodel guys about how I live such a quiet life: work, home, workouts at the gym and dinner with the in-laws. He nodded in understanding and said "I ain't mad at ya."

Excuse me?

I was confused and somewhat indignant, and when someone else came by he told that guy what had been said. As it turns out, it's another way of saying "I understand". WTH. Just say that then.

I was stretching after my Tuesday workout when Patrick called to say he was waiting outside for me, and that he'd promised we'd be at the in-laws' in half and hour. I left the gym floor immediately for the locker room, and mentioned in the car that I felt a little uneven, having only done hamstring stretches on my right leg. Being that Patrick is more than a little obsessive-compulsive, he argued that I could have taken the extra half-minute to do the left leg despite being rushed, and then he hurried us home so I could complete my stretches.

I've been skewed a little depressed, mostly due to poor self-care. This past week I've been forgoing the LAN games in favor of sleep, working out every other day, and eating breakfast, and have been able to steer clear of the pit. For now.

I had a dream last night that we had a male calico cat that was mostly white with some orange. I tried to brush it but not much fur came off.

Lately I've been stuffing my face with Nestle Drumsticks in Cookies and Cream, though what I've been really craving but cannot have are the Mangoes and Cream ones we sell back home, as well as Jollibee's Peach-Mango pies. Dammit. Now I want Jabo spaghetti too.

The remodel is pretty much for over for me. Monday our Market team is coming through to walk off our mods and see the improvements and changes for themselves. I'll have two 7-day old mods, and a couple that are just counting.

The remodel will be over by July 13th. Thank God. I'm tired of people asking me about my shoes. "Do you wear two-inch heels every day?" "How can you work in those?" "Don't your feet hurt?" A couple of the remodel people hope to stay/transfer over when all is said and done. I never really talked to any of them, and I don't think I'll miss anybody except may drummer guy because he's been so encouraging. I'm betting they'll want to keep him, though, because he's sort of the go-to type.

My original dream house is now 5k for expensive, my new one is 100k cheaper, and 2004's much-hyped Zero-Energy Home in Frisco is on the market for only 750k from close to million 3 years ago, which isn't a bad deal esp. considering your utility bills will be next to nothing.

I'm on the lookout for red shoes, because my Rampage D'Orsays are dying.

I really like these:



Jimmy Choo shoes, $750, Jimmy Choo, NYC, 866-524-6687
Via Glamour.com

~*~*~*


Caligarius' Alanda is only $79.99 from $155 at Shoes.com
In 6.0 W and 7.0N

I wonder if I can squeeze into a 7N?

~*~*~*

What I've been looking for but cannot find anywhere is:


Jessica Simpson's LaDonna pump in Scarlet

I know, I know. I should have bought them when I had the chance.

~*~*~*

Red, red, RED!!!


Balenciaga Chad Red, 269 GBP at Daniel Footwear
Via Shoewawa.

~*~*~*

I've kind of also been wanting to get a pretty little Chinese blouse in a solid dark blue or navy, so I can wear it to work. Thing is, I don't know where to get that sort of thing here. The custom tailor next to the Asian mart nearby charges $85 and takes a month to make it, and since I don't really know what I'm ordering and she doesn't speak much English I don't know that I'll be happy with the outcome.

i don't mean to be a stranger

For the most part I've been bombarding myself with all kinds of music. What's been sticking:

Lisa Tucker's AI rendition of "Signed, Sealed, Delivered"
Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow's "Picture" duet
Rod Stewart's Great American Songbook series
KT Tunstall's "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree"

Mondays I now have an early potluck dinner with the (mostly Filipino) 5 pm crowd at work. Tomorrow's menu is paella valenciana, chicken and pork adobo, carrot-raisin salad and fruit salad. I'm thinking of throwing together a strawberry-spinach salad.

I don't think I ever mentioned Martha. She's my new favorite trainer, leading the Thursday Define classes at my gym. She's five-foot nothing and solid muscle: cut but not ripped. I die every Thursday but come back for more the following week, in hopes that by the time I reach her age I will have abs like hers.

In other news, Friday was blondes-in-Uggs day. I clocked in from lunch to find a handful of male coworkers helping a pretty schoolteacher with pin-straight hair shop the Stationery bins. WTF? Customers are not allowed in the backroom, but there she was, with a couple of sales associates and two assistant managers, looking for supplies for her grade-school class or something.

I got home early and took Cocoa for a walk. We passed a lady in tan Uggs and matching too-short skirt picking a fight with some guy for not being there when she arrived, or not giving her a key or something, making her look like a Friday booty call.

At the gym I find myself checking out other people's

Exercise form? No. Physiques? Ha. It's their shoes. I need a second serviceable pair of workout shoes.

~*~*~*

Caroline was at the gym during my workout. So much for slacking off today. She checked up on me when she'd finished her session with another trainee, and showed me how to use the squat machine. And despite all my griping I actually had a satisfying total-body workout. I still feel self-conscious, though. I wonder if it would help if I wore more flattering workout clothes, i.e., actual coordinated fitness outfits, as opposed to wardrobe rejects I was planning on donating to Goodwill because they are worn, stained or just plain ugly.

~*~*~*

Alice Cooper's Poison is sexyfabulous. (See lyrics below.) The vid was almost great, ruined only by the laughable ending.

~*~*~*

The birthday goodies keep on coming. Romano's Macaroni Grill emailed a coupon for a free piece of chocolate cake, which is fabulous because I still want that operatic birthday serenade. (I missed out last year because my birthday just happened to fall on their singer's day off.) And this morning while at work I got a call from American Laser Centers, and was told that I'd won $300 towards any of their laser hair removal or skin rejuvenation packages. If I sign up by tomorrow I can take advantage of their end-of-the-month specials: an additional $100 off plus a free microdermabrasion gift card. Too bad I don't have an extra grand lying around to splurge on unplanned laser hair removal.

my birthday came early this year

Today I received:

a coupon for a free NesQuik milkshake
a coupon for a free Armor All product
a coupon for $5 off a purchase of $19.90+ at DSW
and "Don't Play With Matches", the collection of demo and studio recordings that led to the self-titled album by Tabitha's Secret <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabitha%27s_Secret> (Rob Thomas's original band). The early version of "3 a.m." sounds so lazy, haha.

Bianca and I settled on lunch plans for my birthday: Panda Express.

~*~*~*

Had my first strength training workout today, and I feel pretty good about it. I love love love the Precor Stretch Trainer -- it's my favorite piece of gym equipment.



Precor Stretch Trainer, $795 at BigFitness.com

~*~*~*

In other news, Patrick may be joining up with a different, more serious clan; I'm seriously considering auditioning for "American Idol" next year; and Cocoa ran away this morning. We found her, and she's safely back home, but I was 12 minutes late for work.

Session 1 of 2 with caroline: fitness trainer

I'm crazy to post these stats up here. But you already knew that about me.

Body weight: 133.5 lbs. (according to their scale)
Body fat %: 25.1
Chest: 34"
Waist: 30.25"
Hips: 40"
Thigh: 24.25"
Arm: 12"

Measurements were taken by Caroline. The horrendous waist measurement is actually at belly button level, which she says is a person's true waist. Hip measurements were taken at the widest part. Still, I am horrified.

I've chosen the fitness program outlined in the book "Sculpting Her Body Perfect". I gave her copies of my planned routines for both the six-week conditioning program and subsequent toning and shaping phase. She reviewed my diet and goals (10-pound weight loss and increased muscle tone), and prescribed 30 mins of cardio five days a week. She had me warm up on the elliptical trainer then worked me through one set each of some of my planned exercises. We'll continue next Tuesday.

I spent the next half-hour on the elliptical, burning 250 calories whilst lip-syncing to Ms. Estefan's "Gloria!" album. I need more workout music.

first workout today

I put it off for as long as I could. I felt unwell, lost my water bottle, and forgot my hair tie, my iPod and my socks, but I went anyway. And was actually better for it. Forty minutes on the treadmill and twenty minutes of stretching.

I felt very much like a little girl lost amongst all the unfamiliar machines, even though Christian -- the fitness guy who toured me around -- had been kind enough to demonstrate some of them on my first visit. I hope tomorrow's meeting with Caroline will help me get my bearings.

The girls want to celebrate Thanksgiving on Wednesday, in skirtsuits and boots, with mole and leche flan and homemade salsa. I was thinking about bringing carrot-raisin salad too but I'm starting to think I won't even have time to make the flan tomorrow.

Today's Dove chocolate fortune reads, "Sometimes one smile means more than a dozen roses." Though these days if I want to smile, all I need to remember is:

"Peet stop?"

Photo courtesy of the official "Cars" website.

strange dreams and pleasant surprises

It's nice outside today: sunny but chilly in the shade.

I've been sleeping irregularly once again, inciting strange patchwork dreams of half-formed thoughts.

I was singing to myself at the start of yesterday's shift when Cheryl asked if I sing in my sleep. Before sleeping last night I was browsing online for fragrances, of which I think I would like to sample "Ralph" by Ralph Lauren and "Angel" by Theirry Mugler.

In my dream people had stopped listening to my singing: they were tired of it, and would i please stop, they said. I pursed my lips and bit my tongue, and as I stepped outside and joined the pedestrians milling about the sidewalks I almost stumbled over a little girl with a beat-up suitcase. "Please," she said. "My mother died and I need the money." In the bag were perfume bottles. She had "Acqua di Gio", "Obsession", and "Ralph" but not "Angel".

I'm on Day 2 of South Beach Diet Phase One, and already down to 130 lbs, which was my target weight for Thanksgiving. All I really expected this week was to stall the continual gain. Either I'm dehydrated, or diets too come with some sort of placebo effect.