secret sorrows of a PC widow

i haven't done any real gaming in months.

in that time Patrick has taken up CounterStrike, qualifying for and ascending to the top rankings of a local clan. This past week he's begun "scrimming", i.e., clan-versus-clan shootouts. Last night he didn't go to bed till 5 a.m., then slept till noon.

I just got up from a nap and realized that what's supposed to have been "my" day went to the computers: him with his gaming, me with my music. I recorded "I Don't Know How to Love Him", from "Jesus Christ Superstar", but for some reason I can't upload my audio files to my media blog. Spent the rest of the day listening to a lot of Luther Vandross, of which "Dance With My Father" and "Buy Me a Rose" almost brought me to tears.

It occurs to me now that my music is his gaming: something we live and breathe though we do not profit by it, nor seek to explore it in a professional capacity. Yet as much time as we've spent at these things -- our whole lives, really -- we are no closer to happy, fulfilled lives that embrace our interests.

Luther fulfills my need for a serenader, but I eventually worked my way to my classical/classical-crossover collection: Charlotte Church's smiling notes (ok so she doesn't exactly ring clearly, but the songs hint at it), Josh Groban's vibrant baritone, and of course the Three Tenors' rousing "O sole mio".

I'd heard Josh Groban's "All’improvviso amore" (Closer, 2003) and wasn't particularly impressed. But I came across this translation and found the lyrics to be sheer poetry:

Love, unexpectedly

The wind blows softly
This night changes my destiny
I know that my heart will be surprised again

Life holds more meaning for me now
If I look at this immense sky,
The moon
Will be
Illuminated with my love…

Unexpectedly, love,
Like the sea,
Floods my heart and soul
And it will save me
As naturally as breathing does
With each breath I take I speak of you

Now, everything has changed
I breathe of you in the universe
Your eyes light up the darkness

Suddenly, love,
Like the sea,
Fills my heart and soul
And it will save me
As naturally as breathing does
For it will be true love
That heals the heart
And give me light within

Music: David Foster and Paul Schwartz
Lyrics: Frank Musker and Kaballa
English translation: Pristine Ong and Germane Ong
Snagged from the "Just Josh Groban" website.