it's icy out.

Snow flurries blinded me as I left the store yesterday. It's not so bad today, though the apartment complex's freeze warning signs are still out, advising that we leave our faucets dripping to prevent the pipes from bursting. The store was abuzz with tales of a coworker's accident yesterday. Apparently she and her little dog Lucky made the local news when she swerved to avoid an accident, skidded on black ice, drove off the road and into a pond.

December already. Another month, another year, another milestone. If you don't like seeing me sad, invest in blinders. Sad is where i live. I've just been away for a while. Why else is my music collection mostly sad love songs?

Oh, Rob. You know the truth so well, and you speak it so plainly. These are the lyrics that echo in my head:

"I'm not sayin' there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me"
- Leave

"They're only what they think of you."
- Problem Girl

I like the line "You're hell on wheels in a black dress" (Disease), even though the imagery is off, like a goth roller derby chick.

It's 2 a.m., and I sit at my computer desk in a pink terry cloth bathrobe and pink flannel Tweety sleep pants, with Campbell's Chunky Chicken Noodle Soup, a cup of green tea and Lay's potato chips. Patrick is drunk on vodka. Booze makes him a more efficient CSS player: numbed to the danger, inured to the kill, and intent on accomplishing the mission. He seems a natural-born killer. Being a Navy brat, I don't really want him to go into the service and put us through the strain of a married military life, but I've told him before that if something were to happen to me, he should probably enlist.

He's asked me what I want for my birthday. I've settled on red roses, chocolates, and dinner and an operatic birthday serenade at Macaroni Grill. He'll probably do the first two the day of, and the rest next weekend. I want Harry and David's Tower of Chocolates Collection: it seems to be the cheapest way to get the chocolate-covered cherries and Moose Munch popcorn that I love. And of course the chocolate mints and truffles are a welcome bonus.



Tower of Chocolates® Collection, $36.95 at Harry and David