Dear Diary,

If I were truly honest, I would say that I envy her.
I envy her not needing to work. I envy her still living with her parents and going to school full-time. I envy her future as a doctor being a foregone conclusion. I envy the misplaced confidence she has in her looks and desirability - why was I never so self-assured?

And then there are pangs when I see they way you laugh so easily with her, and I envy that too.

~*~*~*

Someone told me today that I am at my ideal weight, that I should stop losing and strive to maintain myself right where I am. It was a funny sort of compliment to get. I thanked the person, but choose to ignore the recommendation. I'm still six pounds heavier than my old fat weight.

~*~*~*

Today at work I had to pace myself, making sure to get all my breaks and lunches on time, or else I was certain I would kill a particular manager. Not a good sign. Apparently I need a vacation.