end the madness, please

Do me a favor. If you happen to see me at work with my mouth open -- and I'm neither eating nor singing -- please, tell me to shut the fuck up. I got a phone call today from Human Resources on my God-given, labor legislation-enforced, much-needed, day off. Because he had to respond to a complaint someone made about what she'd heard from someone else who had eavesdropped on something I told Luz about a conversation I had with yet another person. Yup, that's right. Fourth-hand.

They say "If it happens once, shame on you; if it happens twice, shame on me." Shame, shame, shame. It's always someone who isn't necessarily my friend, but doesn't exactly hate me. In this particular case, in fact, the central figure in our little drama has told me on more than one occasion that she admires and respects me a good deal for my professionalism and insights I've given her. Apparently, talk is cheaper than ever these days.

This is why I'm a writer and not a public speaker. For the most part, people have imperfect memories and creative impressions of a conversation that help to fill in the gaps. Instead of a verbatim relay you get a skewed story, attributed to me, which gets further diluted with each retelling.

Much good has and may still come out of this. Someone may now be branded a wolf-crier, someone may transfer out, someone is happy to learn that she can trust me and I her, and someone was so steamed she went to the gym for an hour and vented her aggression on a much-too-heavy 70-lb EZ-curl bar. Which I'll definitely be feeling tomorrow.

~*~*~*

I tend to speak plainly because those I associate with the most are non-native English speakers. But it occurs to me that when I am angry or tired, only the most precise words will do. But really now, are there any substitutes for "anthropomorphizing", "schadenfreude", or "verbatim"?