I would sing "Someday My Prince Will Come"; ate up all the yearning, hopeful, waiting-for-my-White-Knight Disney movies; craned my neck for my kabiyak --my soulmate, the one who would make me whole. I treasured my innocence, my naivete, my youthful dreams, protective what I was sure was that certain je ne sais quoi that would draw him to me.
And then I fell in love. Just as promised in a hundred million fairy tales, romance novels, and Hollywood movies. And after that- absolutely nothing.
He was a pussy, and I was too naive. Which was for the best after all. For a long time afterwards I was angry, and anxious to do and experience all that I'd been avoiding. I hated that I'd been soooo ignorant and starry-eyed; I would grow myself. I would be tough enough to never get hurt.
I've since learned that I am responsible for my own happiness, that a life partner is someone to grow old with, not someone who completes you.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
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4 comments:
But what makes one want to grow old with a life partner?
I'm researching that off-and-on right now, and Graham sent me a pretty comprehensive discussion of it, if you're interested.
q.v., "The Missing Piece Meets the Big O"
I'm open to other perspectives, sure.
What one wants in a partner, as with one's life purpose, is entirely up to the individual. Life, love, destiny -- all are what you make them to be.
haha, i think you mean c.f. i found a site that has a video of it: http://dvdfest.org/gallery/2006/low/kvaled
here's the article:
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/love/#Bib
but what is love is love? what is it that makes up that connection? what differentiates being "in love" from "love-ing"?
Really? Cf seems to be more like a comparative reference, whereas qv to me is elaborative.
I think it's fabulous that there's a vid of the book.
Being "in love" is infatuation: the Hollywood movie weak-in-the-knees, moonlight and red roses, tingles and heart-skipping-a-beat-when-your-eyes-meet-mine sort of thing.
"Love" on the other hand is harder to describe or define. As I've said, it's pretty much whatever it means to you. On the whole I think that caring for the other's well-being as much as if not more than your own is a good indication that you might truly love him/her.
Haven't slogged through that discussion you linked. Kinda longish and intellectual for me.
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