Sunday, July 29, 2007

Download iTunes 7.2 here!

iTunes 7.3.1 has a glitch. It does not recognize blank DVDs for backing up your library. It will look like it's reading it, initialize burning, then eject the disc and request a blank DVD. Over and over.


A. Back up to CD, or

B. Downgrade to 7.2 until they solve this issue.

1. Uninstall 7.3.1:
Quit iTunes.
On the Start menu, click Control Panel.
In Control Panel, open Add or Remove Programs.
Select iTunes from the list of currently installed programs, then click Remove.
When asked if you would like to remove iTunes, select Yes.

2. Download 7.2 from
Run the download to install, then get happy backing up!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

I've resumed recording and uploading my voice.

It's been over a year now. I'm unhappy with my sound. My voice used to be so much clearer.

Today's contribution:
You Don't Know Me (pick a stream and go with it)

I still don't have an audition song.

Currently listening to:
Daughtry - Daughtry
Nickelback - All the Right Reasons
Sara Bareilles - Little Voice

...and kicking myself for even thinking about a career in music, when there are so many others who are better singers, actual songwriters, and all-in-all people with more of a right to put their sounds out there.

Sunday, July 22, 2007


Around 5 p.m. yesterday my older sister-in-law called us up and asked if we had plans for the evening. Nothing, really. "Okay, tonight's Miyoshi's one-year anniversary. There's a $30 buffet, my treat. Let's meet at the restaurant at 9. Don't eat anything else until then." I hadn't eaten since 3.

By 7 I was feeling light-headed, weak and nauseous with hunger but, being the obedient girl that I am, I still didn't eat anything. It was all I could do to go online and try to google what the fuss was all about.

Miyoshi is a Japanese restaurant my sister-in-law, Ate Kristine, frequents biweekly. She mentions it often though Patrick, the in-laws, and I had never gone. Dean's been there a few times now, and always orders nabeyaki udon and a Ramune.

For some reason none of my usual sources had any information on the one-year-old restaurant. No reviews at all. All I could find was contact information via some site called Pegasus News.

I don't know why we were there at 9, except maybe because Ate Kristine had to pick up her boyfriend from the airport and couldn't meet us any sooner. Miyoshi is tucked into a little strip mall, and when was pretty packed when we arrived. Outside, a blackboard stand with multicolored chalk script informed us that the night was reserved for regulars interested in attending Miyoshi's one-year anniversary dinner. Inside, the tables had been pushed together to make four long rows. In addition there were two circular bar-height tables, and a pseudo-tatami corner (a wooden platform with a low table, where customers can dine in traditional Japanese style). Kristine and Mike waved from the bar tables.

Karaoke was in full swing, with video and lyrics projected on the wall above us. Apparently everyone else had been there for a while; having finished with the buffet they were nursing Japanese beers and taking turns at the mic. We started with the usual green tea and miso soup, then checked out the buffet. It consisted of mostly various maki. Nigiri-zushi was limited to salmon, red snapper and eel. No gunkan, which disappointed me because I do like popping the salty bubbles of salmon roe. Other than that there was a simple salad, fried rice, sweet teriyaki beef, and fresh grapes and honeydew for dessert.

I thought the food was just okay, not stellar. It was the ambience that won us over. The lively little place was charming and cozy. Ken the owner is also primary sushi chef, yet still took time to sing one Korean song. His brother-in-law Scott casually played emcee for the night.

I sang "Eternal Flame" and got cheered. The karaoke program had been set to its most forgiving it seems - the lowest score of the night was 89, for a patron who chanted the first two lines of a song then realized he didn't actually know it. Most got 99s. Scott came back to me with the song listing. "You should sing another song. You did a really good job."

My second number was "Hooked on a Feeling", which I don't think I did justice because the arrangement and lyrics were for a male, and I could barely hear the music. But our server Soyung (?) came by later to tell me "You have a nice voice. I was surprised!" She was the second person to tell me that, and in those words. Don't ask, because I really don't know.

There was a table with kids in their late teens, early 20s maybe, who surprised us by singing Journey, Coolio, 4 Non Blondes and Will Smith's "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It". How could they know these songs? It's been a long time since I've heard "Yes, yes y'all."

Ken went table-to-table towards the end of the evening, thanking everyone for their patronage, taking pictures, and sharing a tall bottle of smooth Zojirushi, which he cradled and declared his new favorite sake. Patrick leaned over and said, "We should come back. Masaya dito."

After two cups of the good stuff I was ready for a grand finale: song 20155, Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." One of the kids at the other table came by just to sing along and dance beside me. I'm still not sure if he was drunk or just naturally convivial, but he was tremendously encouraging and looked like he thoroughly enjoyed himself. I think I remember him singing "What's Up" earlier in the evening.

We left in good spirits. I got a pearl-pink balloon, Ken kissed Dean, and a wayward drop of soy sauce landed on Ate Kristine's wrist. I survived my first American karaoke experience, and wasn't half-bad.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

saying too little.

This week I:

bought Patrick his dream car Wednesday;

attended a 9-day-old's funeral Friday;

and sang karaoke in a public place (restaurant) Saturday.

Saturday, July 14, 2007


Nine Inch Nails
The Downward Spiral

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Thursday night I did something I thought I'd never do.

I asked to borrow money from my Mom.

It was hard for me to ask, and it was hard for her to say no. We ended the call in tears. I've been crying ever since.

I asked because we need it, because Patrick asked me to, because I kept telling myself I was just asking and that the worst thing she could say is no. But family conversations are never that simple.

If I am honest I might say I resent Patrick for all of this: for not managing the money properly, for putting me in this place, for asking me to call my mom, for insisting I do it the day before the remodel and 20 minutes before I was supposed to be back at work. But all this completely overlooks my own part in all this.

He says he knows that he was asking me for something difficult, but I still don't feel he entirely understands. It is an admission of failure, of weakness. It is the shattering of illusions, the disappointment she always thought I'd been hiding. It is her bailing me out yet again and me still not getting it. It's all of that and none of that yet exactly how it feels.

I told him in the days before that he's making me cut the only thing I have left to stand on. And afterwards I told him I had no more self-respect left.

It's funny, isn't it? It's just money, we say. What happened with it these past six years, you might ask. To be honest, I just don't know. I trusted that he did.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

The weekly mishmash/rehash:

Still depressed. Strolling down the aisles looking for God-knows-what and not finding it, of course.

Saw "Transformers" today. Started crying when Bumblebee was being taken away. I look for things like that, little ways of bleeding myself emotionally just to feel the sting, just to know I can still feel, that I must still be alive.

Nothing matters. That's a really bad thing, I know.

Just came from the dentist, where I got my teeth whitened slightly. I've requested the baking soda sandblasting-type treatment as an alternative to regular polishing. Workouts have been alright: I've upped the weights again without any injury or strain on workout day, but these past couple of days my joints do give the odd, occasional twinge.

Currently listening to Bon Jovi's "Have a Nice Day". Am particularly liking "Wildflower", "Last Cigarette", "Dirty Little Secret" and the duet with Jennifer Nettles.

Shoewawa's put an eBay watch on these gorgeous Christian Louboutins:

I want.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

i'm sad.

I got into a shouting match at work, with the resident ***(insert your own putdown here)***. That she carried it over into a heated discussion with our manager didn't make me feel any better. Until this afternoon we were almost friends.

These types of incidents tend to remind me that at my age I am still incredibly callow, that I really don't know people at all.

Sunday, July 01, 2007


Matchbox Twenty
Yourself Or Someone Like You

Kody sat down on the avenue
He tapped his feet to the humming of the highway
He watched the light shine down on the broken glass, and thought
Well I don't got no reasons, yet
And there it is and there it was

Now it was clear to all of us
We kept this hat of broken dreams
And we pulled them out when we needed them

So please hand me the bottle,
I think I'm lonely now
(Lonely, you're lonely now)
And please give me direction, I think the hurt set in
And I don't feel nothing, yet

There's a squeak hinge down on the back gate
It lets us know if he comes around
Well, I don't sleep that good anyway,
Now, if you've never heard that silence,
It's a God-awful sound

So please hand me the bottle,
I think I'm lonely now
(Lonely, you're lonely now)
And please give me direction
I think I just caved in
And I don't feel nothing
And I don't feel nothing
And I don't feel nothing
There's nothing to feel good about here

And I don't much get down to the avenue
And I could drive, but it takes so much to get there
Don't get off on all the broken glass, the Cadillac scene,
No, I've seen a lot of good things die and I'm
In an over emotional way

So please hand me the bottle,
I think I'm lonely now
(Lonely, you're lonely now)
And please give me direction
I think the hurt sets in

So please hand me the bottle,
Well I think I'm lonely now
I'm lonely now
I'm lonely now
I'm lonely now
(Lonely, you're lonely now)
And please give me direction
I think I just caved in
And it ain't nothing

yesterday was a good day.

We watched "Ratatouille" with Ferdie, Jen and Frankie. It's a great movie, particularly for foodies, and I highly recommend it though I cried through the last third. Afterwards the trio had their picture taken in front of the display for the upcoming Simpsons movie. Lunch was at our favorite Japanese bufffet, then we headed to Allen Premium Outlets.

Last Call Neiman Marcus is always a special treat for me because I get to try on luxe designer shoes. Apparently American designer brands such as Cole Haan and Stuart Weitzman are true to size for me but I'm more like a 7.5 to an 8.0 in Manolo Blahniks or Christian Louboutins.

Today we had brunch at The Cheesecake Factory, and though I had three cavernous mugs of coffee, the jitters and cold sweaty palms didn't hit until Jen casually mentioned that American Idol's Dallas auditions will be Aug. 6th.