Monday, June 27, 2011

Status update

"They make it look so easy, connecting with another human being. It’s like no one told them it’s the hardest thing in the world."
- Dexter Morgan

It's a hard thing, learning to be single. I've been an other half for so long I don't know how to think for myself, do things alone, define myself as an individual. I cook noodles and rice the way he likes them: well-done. It took months, but I've learned to sleep in the middle of the bed. As for work...I don't know. I was just earning a paycheck to help with household finances until we were ready to start a family. Now I'm completely lost.

Sometimes I wish I'd go to sleep and not wake up. Waking life is so messy and difficult and exhausting.

I'm like the 40-year-old Virgin: there are so many things I should have, should have done, and should know by now, but they've somehow all passed me by.

Once again I'm up past midnight trimming my split ends, when I have work in the morning and should be sleeping. And I tell myself these feelings will pass, and that things might be better in the morning.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

So done with younger men.