if i were truly honest, i would say that

i've been in hell these past two weeks

i am alone, unutterably alone, and faltering

denying my secret sorrow does not bring some obscure personal honor - it's killing me.

I still don't know if the temporary patch that relieves some of it is actually making things worse. Or is it harmless distraction? I dunno. I only know that something *must* change: things cannot go on like this.

I only wish I knew the right thing to do.