Selena's
~I Could Fall In Love~

I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay

'Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let go

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

I can only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try to do what I should do
But I could fall in love, fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

Siempre estoy sonando en ti
Besando mis labios, acariciando mi piel
Abrazandome con ansias locas
Imaginando que me amas
Como yo podia amar a ti.

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

I could fall in love, I could fall in love
With you...

~*~*~*

Alam mo ba, i'm the primary hit if you google just "faerah".

Pics from my shoe rack

What's old is new again. Again.

While going through some of the yet-unpacked boxes in the garage, i came across a pair of brown Guccis I don't recall owning. The right heel was missing, which is why I stopped using them, i guess.

Having a pair of Italian-made, leather-soled designer shoes collecting dust in a garage is sacrilege of the highest order for a shoe gal, so I looked up the nearest shoe guy at whitepages.com and dropped off the injured heels last Wednesday. "Joe" said they'd be ready for me Thursday or Friday, and that I only needed to call ahead.

We dropped by unannounced earlier today and they still weren't ready. I waited in the shop for fifteen minutes while he fixed them up for me, and while Patrick went to the ATM to withdraw cash because the shop's card reader's been down for the past month.

The air in the shoe repair place was so heavy with cigarette smoke that I feel I smoked a Marlboro red to the filter. Now my poor shoes smell like an ashtray, but at least they're back home with me.

My new-found Guccis, $7.50 (cost of heel replacement surgery):















Made in Italy, baby!















~*~*~*
Speaking of SATC shoes, we stopped by DSW again today and I found the same chiffon cascade ruffle shoes as before, in lavender this time. Apparently they look so much better in a soft pastel as opposed to a neutral.

My Carriesque XOXO Daniella shoes, clearance priced at $9.98 from $49.89:














XOXO DANIELLA















~*~*~*
NEW YORK TRANSIT PEEP TOES, $13 at Ross Dress for Less














I love love love these shoes!

~*~*~*
Nine & Company velvet embellished flats, $8.97 from $49.99 at Kohl's.















~*~*~*
Kelly & Katie loafers (pics from eBay)

my latest OPM kick

Jamie Rivera's ~Pangarap Ka Na Lang Ba~

Jeffrey Hidalgo for Smokey Mountain ~Can This Be Love~

The background explosions and keyboard clattering are from Patrick playing Counterstrike: Source.

"Word Up" WoW vid

Patrick and I may not like the comparatively cartoonish graphics of "World of Warcraft", but we have nothing but admiration for the creator of this vid:

World of Warcraft Korn "Word Up" music video

Kudos to you, Charlie Yang!

The gnome singer really looks like he's singing and emoting to the words. The timing of the dancing and gesturing is pretty good, and the dancing females -- night elf and human -- are well-placed. All-in-all an excellent advert for WoW. Blizzard would do well to use this vid or similar ones in its advertising campaign.

I wish someone would come up with a similarly well-conceived music video for GW. Don't look at me -- I don't have video capture.

Shoes from "Sex and the City"

Photos ripped from the official site, or from online merchants as indicated.

MOST SOUGHT-AFTER:


Black patent leather mary janes $515 at Bergdorf Goodman
a.k.a., Urban Myth
Episode 65: A 'Vogue' Idea
Designer: Manolo Blahnik

Once again, Shoewawa and Zappos come to the rescue with these great knockoffs:

Lumiani 4557
Very similar in shape, though it's made of high-maintenance suede. On sale till the 31st, for $75.95 from $164.95.


Steven by Steve Madden Vesta
Okay so it's actually a very dark purple, not black. And it's got much more wicked lines. But it's also on sale (for $71.95 from $100.95 till the 31st), and made of smooth leather instead of suede.

~*~*~*

Pink chiffon cascade stilettos
Episode 66: I Heart NY
Designer: Christian Louboutin


XOXO's Daniella is reminiscent of this style. It's available in a Champagne size 7M from Zappos for $50.95 from $75.95

~*~*~*

Silver D'Orsay peep toes with buckle
a.k.a., the Stolen Shoes
Episode 83: A Woman's Right to Shoes
Designer: Manolo Blahnik


The real deal: Manolo Blahnik New York: 212-582-3007. Request a special order in your size of the Sedarby D'Orsay in silver, with a silver buckle.



Pics from Veronica's Fashion File.

Or you could opt for the discount double,

RSVP Taran, $88 at Zappos

=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~

OF INTEREST:

Bejewelled satin mules
Episode 67: Anchors Away



~*~*~*

Pink/beige snake Miu Miu platforms
Episode 75: To Market, To Market

Remember her running to the stock exchange in these towering heels?

~*~*~*
Sneaklos: Pink lace Manolo Blahniks
Episode 80: Hop, Skip And A Week


Suede Sneaker Mule $455 at Neiman Marcus.
Ugh.


=~*~=~*~=~*~=~*~=

*sigh*

i miss my show.

she had an abortion

it's none of my business. It's her own choice, and certainly well within character. Why am I so angry?

I adopted her dog.

She used to hint-hint-hint to her mother all the time: "Mom, wouldn't you like to have a grandkid?"

"No," came the weary, and surprisingly truthful reply. "I can barely take care of Dean."

"Be reasonable," I'd tell her. Who would take care of the baby when she was at work, asleep, or out with friends. "Um...I kinda thought mom would."

She bugged us all into getting a dog. An adorable, affectionate chocolate Lab. She took care of him for two weeks, and after that her father took on the walks and the feedings. She would play with Cocoa sometimes after work. A half-hour, maybe.

A month after Cocoa had lived there, she said she was returning the dog. Unless...

I don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know. I resent her choice and I don't know what I wish for instead but I hate her for it anyway. For being spoiled and selfish and irresponsible, but mostly for being so flippant about it all.

Yet still it's none of my business. It doesn't concern and shouldn't affect me.

i created a new GW character: Ms Wonder Woman

Because Wonder Woman, Wondrous Woman, Miss Wonder Woman and Diana of Themyscira were all taken. I took her from zero to W/Mo6 Tuesday night, and brought her and Patrick's new presearing monk to level 8 on Wednesday.

GW Factions, an Eastern-flavored expansion, is coming out on Tue; we haven't preordered. There's a Beta Preview tonight.

~*~*~*

Whitney Houston's ~All at Once~

See what I mean by not being able to find my voice?

Jose Marie Chan's ~Afraid For Love to Fade~

i can't find my voice

i think it might be in one of the boxes we've yet to unpack. i dunno.

Restless and uncomfortable in my skin lately.

~*~*~*

The BOGO sale is over, i think, and their website is temporarily down, but Payless's Kollide wedge isn't half bad for $20.



No, I'm not getting them. I roll my ankles on platforms, cork is similarly awkward for me (and too trendoid!), wedges look like heels struggling to break free, and i'm not really a fan of ankle straps. But I thought YOU might like them.

someday we will have a beautiful wedding here:

Cathedral Santuario de Guadalupe

mari iijima has a blog

For those of you who don't know her, she's the voice of Lynn Minmay in Macross.

Wiki bio here

Mari Iijima's blog

the infamous tennessee pot cave pics have resurfaced

Check it out while you can:

Article from The Tenneseean

TN marijuana cellar

one vaccine could have given my brother a completely different life.

ain't that a bitch?

I've been doing research related to the vaccination requirements for Patrick's Immigration Medical Exam, scheduled for 10:30 this morning, and came across this.

Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine

Too bad it came oh, about 20 years too late.



Parents, for the love of God, make sure your kids get this vaccine. And the rest of the shots they need. Please. Yes it could happen to you.

half-price! python! Jimmy Choos!

Tie-dyed Python pump, $575 from $1150

and aren't these just the most deliciously elegant ballet slippers?




Delman Ebony, $89 from $255

Both on sale right now at Bergdorf Goodman.

because i can dream

i want this house:



5033 Charles Place

unless i win the lotto, i will probably never own it, or even a house that looks anything like it, but i like it just the same.

strangeness of being

in my dream i had gone for a walk, and noticed that a black car was following me. I quickened pace and he followed suit, calling out to me: "Where are you going? Come back here! Hey, shouldn't you be in school?"

I began running to houses and screaming for help. He got out of his car and chased me. "Come back here! I'm going to punish you!"

What for, I don't know. I woke up, and walked the dog. It was 2 o'clock in the morning and maybe eight guys had taken plastic chairs, arranged them in a circle in two of the apartment complex's parking slots, and were conducting a meeting of some sort.

not particularly wordy right now

the dryer died, the IRS refund's been delayed, Patrick wants me to join him in playing Counterstrike, and I somehow mangled my blogger template beyond recognition, and have had to return to this one. I want Salma Hayek's Oscars dress; I don't care that I don't have the chest for it.



Do you think I could go as Yuna for AnimeFest this year?
















And while we're on the subject of videogame characters, here's a link that made me laugh:
Separated at birth?

~*~*~*
one of Billy Joel's songs, which I changed to ~He's Got a Way~

walking the dog at high noon

Among the freedoms of midweek days off is the ability to walk Cocoa through the apartment complex at lunchtime, a leisurely stroll in broad daylight sans the usual distractions of other walkers and their pets.

The naked trees in the barbecue area have burst into fragrant white blossoms, filling the air with a citrusy floral perfume. No dogs to be seen, not even the pale-eyed husky mix that usually looks on sadly as we walk by. One apartment was noisy with unseen pets, though - a small dog yipped frantically from inside, and a larger dog howled along. On our second pass, it was quiet at first, then the noisemaker offered a few token barks.

~*~*~*

I felt like playing the guitar today. It's tough, trying to record while singing and dusting off my meager guitar skills. Naturally, I can't edit as much as I'd like.

Allison Krauss's ~When You Say Nothing At All~
The Eraserheads' ~Ang Huling El Bimbo~

fear factors

Currently reading:
SuperSelf
by Charles Givens



~*~*~*

My personal fears:
Ignominy
Seeing ghosts
Deep water
Looking foolish
Living alone
Dismemberment

...and worries:
Living a wasted life
Never having children
Having children who are gay
Losing my abilities
Never owning a home
Losing Patrick

~*~*~*

My book of the month, SuperSelf, advises one to conquer one's fears. The older we get, the more fears we accumulate and the more cautious we are, until we have drawn ourselves into a box so narrow and suffocating it might as well be a coffin. I've listed my primary fears and worries and the next step is to now select one and confront it "in a spirit of challenge and fun".

I've never had to live alone: I always lived either with relatives or in a multifamily residence of some kind. Being the only one in the building is frightening to me: no one to come looking for me, and no one to hear me scream. A person's phobias tend to be interrelated. In my case, being afraid of living alone is tied to the fear of seeing ghosts: the idea being that if I'm with someone, a ghost is less likely to pop up.

I know it's strange to hear a supposedly intelligent, modern woman talk about being afraid of ghosts, but if you grew up in the province like i did, you wouldn't be so sure. There are those who say that the Philippines is a portal of some sort, one of the few places in the world where the walls are thin between what we know as reality and the supernatural -- sort of like Hellmouth in the Buffy TV series. Too many people have spoken to me about encounters with ghosts, spirits and angels for me to dismiss the possibility of having a similar experience in the future. For some reason I think that the day a ghost does appear before me, I'm going to freeze with fright and fall dead of a heart attack. I dunno.

I think a friend passed on a ghost to me. She was relating the experience of having seen the ghost, and I got the strangest, scary prickling sensation: like being watched, and also slowly being unable to breathe. I get that same feeling whenever I think about her (the ghost) or talk about her -- even now, at 2 p.m. in sunny Texas, while typing away at my keyboard, with Patrick in the next room.

I'm afraid of other silly B-rated horror-movie-type things when I'm alone: the dark, the underside of beds, mirror reflections, cabinets and closets. No, I didn't grow up with horror movies or tales of the Boogeyman. But when I'm by myself I'm not so sure there isn't a mangled arm waiting to grab me.

So much for overcoming my fears. I may just work myself up into that heart attack this afternoon. I'd better find something else to do.

link of the day:

State of Fear

i am nothing.

A snippet of Renee Fleming singing "Amazing Grace".

Dear LP,

One of these days I am going to find a web tracker that will apprise me of your visits. Till then, I'll just have to take your word for it.

These are for you:

Tennessee pot cave
plus pics!
Government cheese - which, according to the wiki stub, was "pretty good".

the question of prayer

If one is happily atheist and someone says he will pray for you, you might simply smile and think nothing of it.

But if you are unsure and agnostic, and someone you barely know says he will pray for you and for your husband, so that something you really really hope will go smoothly actually does, you might feel embarrassed and grateful and ashamed.

And you ask: If he is praying for me, why am I not praying for myself?

~*~*~*