I am sick and tired of people telling me how I feel.

As things are, I will never be an actress. People read my facial expressions differently than I project, and sometimes entirely differently than I feel.

A coworker scared me one time, and everybody who was there said I looked PISSED. OFF. In truth, I was embarrassed and surprised and frightened -- mortified, really -- but none of it showed.

Saturday I was tired (six-day workweek, and Patrick and I had been up till early that morning talking and, uh... talking) , and the girls teased me all day that I was lonesome. Around lunchtime Luz finally caved and told me, "I know you miss your friends, and things aren't the same between us anymore, but if that's what you want, it's okay: I just want to see you happy." WTF.

And the worst thing about it is that the truth doesn't work, and even if people ask and you answer and explain, they still believe what they thought all along.

Tonight I was disappointed and angry, yes. But he said I looked hateful and my glare said "Fuck you." I can't say why things have been so damn prickly lately. I don't mean to cut him down.

I don't know if people give me too much credit, or not enough, but I do feel that no one really knows me.