blow-my-brains-out bored

That slightly uneasy, back-of-the-head feeling that I might be a little left of sane
is back and I leapfrog from one thing to the next: my
self-help books on finance, artistic recovery, life lessons; my
haphazard music collection -- R & B, rock, classical music, various soundtracks;
TV, internet, radio, magazines... There is

no hope in sight. Brick walls
at every turn. No
driver's license. No
car of my own. No
money in the bank. No
bank approval. No
credentials, no
training, no
experience. No
clue, really. And
is it me, or
does everybody cuss now?

Frenetic. Desperate. Exhausted. Indifferent. Discouraged.
And still waiting.