I'd tell you to use your common sense, but you obviously don't have any.

Honestly. If you are rounding up petition signatures or calling the FBI about a site like Bonsai Kitten, then what is or isn't being posted up on the Internet is the least of your worries. Here's what your biggest problem is, worded with a double negative so you might understand it better: there ain't no fix for stupid.

You're probably also suing J.K. Rowling for turning your child into a witch. Maybe you initiated a boycott of "Bruce Almighty" on moral grounds (because Heaven forbid that the Almighty should be in a comedy starring Jim Carrey), and wrote impassioned letters to your PTA newsletter and the local daily about the dangers of fairytales (too violent), "Rock-a-Bye, Baby" (ditto), and Sponge-Bob Squarepants - since everyone knows that Patrick will turn your toddler gay.

If you cannot differentiate between parody and DIY instruction, fantasy and recruitment, creativity and corruption, here's a quote for you, from honest Abe:

'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."
- Abraham Lincoln

toned down

Using Revlon Colorsilk #30 Dark Brown ($2.97 at Wal-Mart), I dyed my 7-month-old highlights to match my natural brown-black roots. It looks quite nice, if i do say so myself -- healthier sans the light-and-dark bands. I didn't distribute the color evenly, and so there are some lighter streaks, breaking up the unnaturally solid color that cheap all-over haircolor can give. I also added a few face-framing layers: bangs curling to meet my lips, and a second chin-length layer.

It's midnight and Cocoa's stretched out, fast asleep, on the carpet between our computer chairs. Patrick's playing CounterStrike. I should get some shuteye: I'm looking at an eight-day stretch this coming workweek, as Texas' tax-free weekend starts on Friday.

Tonight's Iron Chef battle was rather interesting: Iron Chef Morimoto vs. Seattle's Tom Douglas in Battle Salmon.

I want sushi. And sashimi. And crispy fish skins.

~*~*~*~

Speaking of sales...


Kenneth Cole has a fabulous men's shirt on sale for a great price: the Lawn Party shirt is only $26.99 from $128. Available in Cyan (L, XL, XXL) and Rusty (M, XL, XXL) while supplies last. Via Omiru.com.



I'm no bag lady, but I really like this Christian Louboutin Venus Satin Clutch. $891.22 at Net-a-Porter. Via The Purse Blog.

there are thoughts you should not have,

there are feelings you cannot own.
you scribble illegibly through a dozen college-ruled notebooks,
one following the other into cardboard boxes
never to be revisited.

it's as if you're trying to leave it all behind.

Monday affirmations

or they will be, in two weeks' time.

I am in control of my life. I take responsibility for my moods and actions. I do not blame others, or circumstances. I do not worry about things beyond my control. I focus on the things I can do something about.

- from the "Seven Habits(TM) Profile"

is it saturday already?

it's strange how time seems to take on a new dimension when not bound by schedules. Saturday is here too soon, though the days drag on seemingly endlessly. Strange too how an un-updated blog seems to echo the last line, as though nothing else happened in the last few days, as though nothing existed in my world except that final, resounding thought.

Thank you for the concern and the suggestions, the digital substitutes for chicken soup much appreciated.

I'm alright. Watched "Waking Life" again, since Richard Linklater's new movie is out. Between that and another slog-through of "Seven Habits", I may just pull through again.

I can't stop thinking about the Marc Jacobs monochromes. If they were on sale for $100 I might stretch the budget a bit, but at $350 they're purely aspirational.

There are two birdlings huddled under the neighbors' carport. They've been there since last night. They can both fly a bit -- just a few feet, enough to get out of Cocoa's way. Their family came to visit this morning: five birds twice the size of the refugees, dipping and swooping in and out of the carport, apparently urging the pair to follow suit. I hope the relatives bring provisions.

on happiness, ephemeral and elusive

I'm home alone again.

Once more I've begun another housebound vacation, with only Cocoa as my constant companion. With nothing to drown out the noise in my head, I have no choice but to face my hypocrisies and contradictions.

I call it my native sadness. I reach for depressing thoughts the way an alcoholic reaches for the bottle: because I must, because I just need one more to fix things, because I'm just oh-so-sad-and-confused, because things are difficult right now, because I can stop anytime and one more won't hurt, because i wouldn't be me without it...because, because, because.

Because I'd rather be unhappy.
Because sad = deep, and familiar.
Because happy takes too much work, is corny, and not realistic/sensible/meaningful anyway.

I think maybe that true happiness is the feeling that one deserves to be happy, that one has made the best possible use of one's gifts and circumstances, talents and opportunities. When you have earned your achievements, fulfilled your potential, maybe then...

The way things are, the way I am, it's never gonna happen for me.

Something's gotta give.

a winning day

trivial things, but i really enjoy little unexpected presents.

Today I won:
$13 in the lottery
2 Movie Cash tickets from Dole
Vaseline Intensive Care Renewal, 6.8 oz. from Allure magazine

I also got the Coach Sophia loafer in fuchsia. Pix tomorrow, I think.

I tried placing a library hold for "Organizing from the inside out"; apparently one of their copies is lost?

get it right, people.

Because you do not google with yahoo.

Brand names

Unless your stuff are branded, do not call them...

Havaianas; they're just flip-flops.
Q-Tips; it says cotton swabs on the box.
Xerox machines; they're photocopiers.
Palm Pilots; they're PDAs. Or maybe your Pilot 1000 from '96 is still alive and clicking?
Cokes: I think you mean sodas or softdrinks. As in, "Pabili ng Coke: isang Pepsi, at isang Sprite." (I'll have some Cokes please: a Pepsi and a Sprite.) This seems to be a universal error. A friend from South Africa told me that they do the exact same thing over there.

RAS syndrome (Redundant Acronym Syndrome syndrome)

Please don't say:
ATM machine
PIN number
HIV virus

"SWAT team" (for Special Weapons and Tactics) is perfectly legitimate.
And no, I'm not asking you to do anything I don't do myself.

my zappos wishlist

Photos courtesy of Zappos Couture. Sale prices valid thru Friday, 7/21.

Christian Lacroix blue suede pump

A beautiful shoe in a luxurious shade.
$91.95 from $453.95. Size 37 (US 6.5W/7N) only.

Donna Karan T-strap

I love the contrast of lamé on suede.
$115.95 from $573.95. Size 37.5 (US 7)

Giuseppe Zanotti D'Orsay

Interesting details: an intricate leaf pattern on the vamp, and a tortoiseshell heel.
$444.95 from $554.95. Whole sizes 6 to 10, and 7.5

Marc Jacobs monochrome peep toe

How 60s! I especially like the black ribbon lining the back, like the back seam on stockings.
$353.95 . Most sizes from 4.5 to 10.

hausfrau

We didn't know until yesterday what Patrick's schedule would be, and mine was made three weeks in advance so our off-days don't match anymore. Having Patrick away at work while I stay here has me feeling very wifely, and I've spent my day cooking, cleaning and doing laundry.

Patrick comes home for lunch when I'm here. Lunch was pot roast, and dinner will be chili, which I've got simmering on the stove right now. It's hot, and Cocoa's bored. I think there's something wrong with our a/c. Patrick put in a service request this morning, but no one's stopped by yet.

It's very odd spending the entire day with Cocoa, with no one else here, and no TV or computer game in the background. She farts a lot. Or, a lot more than I realized. She also lays down on the carpet and looks doleful as you sit at the computer, sneaking glances every so often to see if she's having an effect.

patrick's found a new job!

He started this week. It's basically providing tech support for area hotel franchises, and the perfect combination of his background in computers and the hotel industry.

unsexy

If ever i were to be ambushed by Stacy and Clinton of TLC's "What Not to Wear", it probably would have been today. I just went out in public in a cami-and-short set with red hearts. Well, not really. I dropped off a little something from Cocoa at the DogiPot station on the other side of our apartment building, and I threw an oversize T-shirt on my cutesy ensemble. The shirt was given to me by Luz that time that I sat on her damp passenger seat and soaked up spilled coffee that left a decidedly...organic smear across the seat of my khakis. Now that I think about it, it was almost a year ago, during inventory. The front of the tee reads "Jackson Hewitt Tax Service", and the back says, "If the IRS takes the shirt off your back, Jackson Hewitt will give you theirs". Very unsexy.

Which is just as well, since that's been the mood of late. I don't feel like working out, or eating right. My little tummy is marshmallowy and my thighs are pillowy. Last night I decided to do my nails for the first time in ages. It took me three hours and only my left hand turned out presentable.

Wore my little navy skirtsuit with the gold pinstripe to work today, with a red cami to match my "Revlon Red" nails, and my gold caged peep-toes to match the pinstriping and suit details. I also blew my hair out straight and should have felt sssssmokin'; instead I felt overdone and wilted in the Texas heat.

i am so angry today, i have a headache.

Or maybe, I have such a headache, i'm angry. I don't know. I don't like being angry. I'm unaccustomed to it. And so I transmute it as best I can into something I do know and understand well: sadness.

I'm gonna have some strawberries and yogurt, and then a nap.

Half-price shoes!

Via Shoewawa.

Half-price wet-weather wonders:


Kate Spade rubber loafers, $77.95 from $128.95 at Zappos Couture




Sigerson Morrison rubber skimmers, $59.99 from $125 at Bloomie's



Fabulous Fendi:


















Fendi velvet pump, $195 from $395 at eLuxury.

my Spanish mirror blog

I've been sporadically teaching myself Spanish, and a major hurdle has been that I'm unable to practice the language on a daily basis. And so I've created a mirror blog, "Blog espejo de faerah". Theoretically, if i blog daily and use Babelfish to translate each post into Spanish, in time my Spanish will improve. That, or my English will devolve to my Spanish level.

hungover

i don't know why i blog. I just do. It makes my life googleable, for my own personal reference.

Capped off last night with some Shiner Bock, and went to work irritable this morning. I gave Mike a piece of my mind about yesterday's six-day-old modulars, citing responsibilities as a department manager, and the fact that i really, really don't appreciate a last-minute dash to clean up what someone else had the entire week to do.

He listened patiently through it all, and as I wound down he mentioned that Stephen talked about my 7-day-old mods during the morning meeting. "...but he probably saw mine and thought they were yours."

Nope. They were mine. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I am such a hypocrite.

I got them done within the next two hours. And spent most of today apologizing to Mike. Not because I offended him in any way -- he'd brushed it off two minutes into my tirade, i think -- but because I'd been bratty little Miss Perfect throwing rocks from within my glass house. Bloody fucking hell. Pahiya na naman ako sa sarili ko.

4th of july weekend

yesterday i walked Cocoa at 8:30 p.m., and it was as though I were on Mars. The pink sunset tinged everything rose.

Alex said I looked...different, in jeans. I think that was a compliment.

Some guy asked where to find something and as I leaned slightly and pointed to the shoe polish he leaned toward me too and looked at me over his shades. Here's a hint, buster: being cute only works if you actually are cute to begin with.

Friday, 30 minutes before I had to go home, I was told I needed to set 20 feet of backpacks. Yesterday, my assistant manager said she wanted my bin cleared of open packages: a week-long project (if i did solely that) she was asking that I finish in two days, basically, on top of the usual freight/zoning/BAM screen. Today, an hour and a half before I needed to clock out, 6-day-old modulars (not mine) came to light. I left work almost an hour late.

I was standing in line at the checkouts and a guy and a girl in front of me got to know each other. No, not in that way. He mentioned he was new to the area and was looking for a friendly church to get involved in. She recommended hers and gave her name so he could look her up on myspace. Myspace.

It's surprising how many people go to church. I didn't realize I was in such a minuscule minority.