there are things we want and can't have,

and thoughts that will not let us go unless
we embrace them, and accept them
whether or not
we give in.

and so i will say it once, and definitively

i want to have a baby
(so much, sometimes, it hurts)
but i am not in a place in my life where
that's even an option.

so i lay this thought here
and hope, as i walk off
that it does not follow.