Friday, October 14, 2005

intimate details

among the dubious privileges of managing the Intimates section is being privy to the vital statistics and lingerie-related problems and preferences of one's co-workers.

Consequently i now know that one of my workmates has only one bra which she washes nightly. I'm also well-aware that several of my coworkers are double-Ds who complain oh-so-loudly that they can't shop in my section because the department "doesn't have my size". Which is odd because I have 36DDs all the way up to 50 DDDs. Oh, and let's not forget the skinny-minnie in size 0 pants who, when asked if she had as much trouble finding bras in her size, looked at me blankly "No, we carry 36Bs; what size are you?"

The truth is, I look to eBay for my underwire-reinforced, padded or liquid-filled AAs from Frederick's of Hollywood or Victoria's Secret.

I have also learned that guys find it kinky that a girl should spend forty hours a week rearranging lingerie. WTH? It's Wal-Mart - we sell Hanes white cotton undies and granny panties. Tips for the gals: yes, guys really do like to see us in thongs and black lace and thigh highs with garters.

And then there are the prank callers. Guys who have me repeat the instructions on getting a woman's bra size over and over. For the girlfriend, sister, wife...it's always someone different each time. Oh, and then the perv gets really breathy. Ugh. I eventually wised up and learned to say point-blank that (1) Wal-Mart doesn't do bra fittings, but fine department stores do; (2) i don't know how to measure for bra sizes; and (3) fits vary among manufacturers, and that's why ladies use fitting rooms.

I need a different job.

~*~*~*

The State Fair is in town. Let's go sometime.

~Take Me to the Fair~ (from Camelot)

~Wishing you were somehow here again~ (from Phantom of the Opera)

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